October 2, 2003
Lately, I’ve been reading some of those “feel good” type magazine stories. You know the ones. Reader’s Digest, Chicken Soup for the soul, etc. Its like one big Hallmark card. Guess I’m trying to shake loose some uptight emotions. Funny thing is, quite a few of these stories are from Mothers sending their kids off to school for the first time or something equivalent. Hard not to be cynical there.
On the weekends that I am lucky enough to spend with Sunshine, there is always Sunday evening looming in the distance. When I pick my daughter up, I always try to make sure she gives her Mom a good hug and a kiss goodbye. I know its got to be tough for my ex to let her go. They have enough time together that Sunshine sometimes takes it for granted, and just wants to hop in the car and go. Nope. “Say goodbye to your Mother.”
Wish I could be that understanding on Sunday. Most times, after I drop her off, I have to just sit in my car for a few minutes and try to compose myself. I want to scream “Two days is not enough!!!” How long will I have to wait before we have time together again? How long before you move even farther away? How long before you’ll resent having to be away from your friends for the weekend? How long before hanging out with Dad is no longer cool? Worst of all, how much of your life have I already missed?
Yeah, guess I woke those emotions right up…
Sure do miss my Sunshine.
September 22, 2003
Time to start blogging again. I had to get away for a while. I felt like I was getting too bitter and just repeating myself.
Well, it seems that the act of writing can help. I guess I really do enjoy the outlet, and it sure does help when some of you let me know you're out there. I've gotten a few e-mails that were pretty encouraging. I look forward to sharing some of the thoughts in those e-mails with you.
I'm actually looking forward to archiving all the old entries here, just so I have a clean slate to use. Lots to catch up on.
June 16, 2003
Finally!!! I was starting to think I was going to have to give up on this whole blogging thing. I think I must have locked myself out of the administrator access for this site. So much for using a real blogger. Looks like I really am stuck with notepad until I can upgrade the hosting.
So, what’s been going on in the last month? First of all, I had a very nice Father’s Day with my daughter. Happy belated Father’s Day to any Fathers who are reading this. Sunshine gave me a very cute card, and we spent most of the day at the pool. She has started dropping hints about going to a different school next year. Must mean her mother is thinking of moving again.
My job is going pretty well. I'm back on days for a month, and I finally got my first paycheck. That’s a pretty good feeling. Still not sure how much of it I’ll actually get to keep in the long run, but I did at least get my phone turned back on and pay a few other bills. The ex’s lawyer hasn’t picked a final number to hit me with yet. Might have something to do with my lawyer dropping out. That’s a long story that I might get in to at a later time, but I can’t say I’m too upset about it. Seemed to me like I paid him to do really good job of telling me what the ex’s lawyer wants. Sure didn’t see him doing anything for me!
Anyway. I’m glad this is working again, and I promise not to try any more blog tools until I upgrade.
